Saturday, May 2, 2009

facing burnout!

My mind is always busy with ideas... sometimes irrational ideas like a new name for my punk band ,words with hidden meaning.. like Sleetwealth or how to make a loom to put acid trippin spiders to weaving fairy lace.

Regardless if Im sick or realy dont feel like working on art, I do it every single day. Some of my best peices were sculpted in bed, sometimes while sick or just not wanting to face the world. Some of my worst peices were sculpted in bed too. ^o^either at 3am when am suddenly struck by the muse or with the agitated nessesity of meeting a deadline.

Last month Dr. Warsaw has informed me he has no more effexor samples for me . Just like that your on your own kid.. Since I cant afford 600 a month Im going to have a short tapering off. @_@ I wasnt maintaining well anyway since the crap makes me sleep ridiculosly long hours and cuts into my sculpting time.

So this is my new work area. it looks kinda lonely right now huh?
I love it though! Two overhead florecent lights. An amber window which is tinting the room . Lots more space and white countertop to work on.
Im having the hardest time finishing Arinhrod. I see only frustrating mistakes with her. Her face is lovely and her violet eyes ,but Im so burnt out and unenthusiastic as if a thread has been cut between us. Im tempted to start again from scratch until I can feel it with this one again. Shes waiting for her hands and a sculpted corset not even much sculpting left to do! The sleeves and dress will be fabric. I must say I am not enjoying puppen fimo right now so, I want to switch clays Again!


  1. Arinhrod is beautiful Nita. I hate when a piece doesn't seem to cooperate. I wonder if you can start something else and then come back to her when you've distanced yourself a bit from the 'flaws' you are seeing. That helps me sometimes...

    I would love to see more of your workspace. Perhaps I could do a segment on it for the ado blog if you are willing :].

  2. Thanks Jess. She is a commission that I already expected to have done last month. I had sewn her underskirt and over skirt then decided I didnt like the way that fabric was working! I ahd to sand her alot casue her clay is milk white and every speck shows on it.
    Sure I can take more pictures of my mork area though its a mess! Stuff everywhere. This is the cleanest angle in the room! It is brining out my nesting instincts though. I sure wish I coudl fix it up like my private sanctuary1

  3. Ah, I see. Commissions add so much pressure. ;/ Can you talk to the requester about it and let them know that you want the piece to be perfect and all the elements just haven't come together yet?

    Yes, please send me some pictures :]. Messy or clean--either can be inspiring!

  4. Yes Ive let the client know Im having difficulty with her,but I thought that I would get over it. I think I would feel better starting anew I really wanted her to be special and everything seems to be fighting me from her crown ,pose,clay and dress!

    Ok messy pictures it is then!

  5. I Don't say anything, here's just a big hug.

  6. Just saying Hi Nita! Love your new piece, but I understand that frustrated feeling when it is not working exactly as you envisioned it.

    Shame about the cost of medication in this country (I'm visiting at the moment)- if you lived in Australia and needed Effexor, the PBS means you would have it for $30 a month - less if you are on a low fixed income. Hang in there, though........those dark/black times are part of the territory if you are an artist. It does seem to lessen as you get older, though.
    Susie (in Columbus, Ohio)

  7. oh dear Nita, I'm so sorry that you are forced to stop the Effexor. Does the US not have State drug benefit programs? For those here in Canada that do not have employee covered benefits for drugs, etc., the different Provinces have provincial run programs. The States should realize that having to stop a med due to financial problems is NOT
    a good thing.

    I think your piece looks wonderful, although I do identify with how you are feeling that she is just not
    cooperating with you. Maybe today, she is being a bit more cooperative?

    Your work corner is so neat! I'm jealous.

  8. Nita, I love your beautiful sculpt!! I hope you can re-connect with her. It does make a difference if there is a bond. Thank you for letting us see your wonderful works in progress!!

  9. Nita I think you have to be one of the most amazing persons I have met in my lifetime and we don't even know each other except on the internet....

    I feel exactly like many time, but I don't sculpt... I funk out.

  10. Thanks everyone for the hugs and kind comments. I wish the US realized how difficult it is to work with depression and therefore to pay for medication!
    There are facades of help in place. But its only when your realy at the bottom you discover how limited they are and how little applies to your case! We are going to try and get MediCal that might help a bit. Though Ive heard plenty of bad about it.
    My work area looks neat Sue from this tiny angle!>G< Helped by the fact that Ive sat there staring at her instead of working.
    I try to clean up between each stage.Not always though! The painting,hair and clothing makes the biggest mess. So Im trying to keep those areas seperated. And the sculpt area free of clutter so I can easily wipe it free of dust each day.

  11. Hi Nita,
    All I can say is, I have been where you are and I wish you the best. As far as the doll goes, when I feel I can't connect I stop working on it and organize the areas around me in order to clear my MIND of some of the clutter.
    Big Hugs,