Monday, June 29, 2009

Facing the formless void

This undefined bust is how I feel right now. The head in back is old work shes there for moral support. Saying see you have skill in there somewhere.

A formless void ..As if the future is cloudy and unformed just now. More so than usual. Are we at the eye of the storm or is something wonderous about to happen that changes everything?

I had a horrible crash tapering off the Efexor and I never fealt so sick in my life!Im jake now cept for some insomnia really! ^.^And if not Bah anyway! Im ready for my seat next to YOU and the dormouse!

I had some insight recently. I dont give a rats posterior about being in magazines or making a ton of green. Im not terribly impressed by most honors people wave around as proof of something. I dont wanna be a high productive machine. Id rather a few special people cherish my intimate artworks. Maybe pass them on to their kids later.. Thats good cause I had got caught up in feeling a bit guilty for not being the doll a week workhorse type. I imagine alot and research alot and thats part of the process I enjoy. Im not only fashioning the hollow semblance of a figure .I want to capture the soul and full story. You cant do that rushing to 3rd base. Wham bam thank ye mam! is good for making babies fast but, it makes a lousy lover!

I made some tiny food in an effort to feel I was doing something in ther direction of artfulness. Everytime I try to make a face I got some ugly thing. And not as in neat salty character! Ive even stopped work on Flame my ADO Challange peice because I started to strip ,carve away and redo and then strip down and redo over and over! I knew if I kept it up Id have a ruined peice!

I made an Amanita Muscara. I dont think theyre edible ,but see... my names in there.

And a cute morel. Something I cant mess up and finish quickWhew! Someday Id like to taste a morel after were properly introduced. They have a funky look as if they could poison you if they decided not to like you.

I started practicing making these fruit, and forest harvest for a future peice . I want a mediaeval gathering basket briming with bounty of nature. Including honey comb ,flowers, herbs .. maybe some handmade foods like buiscuit or cheese.

A summer abundance theme. Sounds like a positive peice huh? Just watch somehow I will have the best of intentions and something creepy will come of it! >:{ Hey I cant help it dont hate me for chanelling the angel that picked me!


  1. And that's exactly what we are doing with Nobody's child!
    My daughter already claimed her for as I'm no longer here and she will cherish her just like I do now.
    Just don't do what you think others expect from you but do what YOU want, then you are making the gorgeous art with a heart and soul we all know from you.

  2. Nita, I think I know exactly what you are experiencing. I'm currently weaning myself off cymbalta (devil drug - should NEVER have been approved). It is a long, tedious process because if you go too fast on coming off it, nasty, nasty side effects happen. I'm pretty sure the Efexor is of the same family.

    I had made up my mind a year ago, that I would never be of the right type of personality to be able to knock out a piece of work on a regular once a week basis. I go through spurts, and I have to really enjoy the work I'm doing. As soon as I feel pressured, my interest and talent seems to leave me.

    I love your little fungi and food pieces....I'm wondering about some of them for pendants?

    You will be fine....believe.


  3. I had morels growing in my garden this year (and I didn't "plant" them)! Some of them were as tiny as the one you sculpted; some were several inches tall! I thought they were poisonous so I started uprooting them. Then I did some research and found out they're sought after by gourmands! Who knew.

    Anyway... I am identifying with your recent insight. I'm trying to pin down exactly what it is I'm after with my art, so I can figure out "where I want to be in 10 years." So that I'll have an answer when people ask me, I guess. (Also so that I'll have a plan for getting there.) While making lots of money would be really nice, it's not my goal. Neither is being a workhorse (although I do need to produce more than I have been). Neither is it to be the next Michaelangelo. I think my goal is to be the best artist that *I* can be, so that I can create the things that I see in my head. It's getting crowded in there and they want to come out. :-)

    Anyway, Nita, I pretty much love everything you do, and I look forward to seeing what you come up with next! :-)


  4. Hi Nita,
    I hope your muses guide you through this rut we all fall into. It looks like a few of us experience similar things.
    I can sculpt a doll a day, but because I work purely emotionally, I usually sculpt one a month. I have to feel something in order to make something, most people around me can't seem to grasp that. They tell me just make something, anything!, but I can't work that way.
    I get the, "Oh, if I had your talent..." blah blah blah.

    I have to research every detail I put into my work-that's my nature-and i can't apologize for that.
    I am thankful that I have a good job because I would die if I had to live off of my art. I just do it for me and my sanity. Art is my calling, not my choice. If I go too long without making something I feel hollow inside.
    I love that you are making the minis, it is such a great feeling to make something like that. I wish you the best, you truly deserve it, and as always, I hope you can take comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

    Great big hugs,

  5. I watched all your blog, you're great!

  6. Thank you for commenting doves:D
    I feel the same way Rosanna. Im glad Im not the only research lover. I enjoy learning new things while on the journey making something its seems less like dry study and more fun discovery. Id never just decide to read on a random subject ,but somehow I get fueled when its attached to a peice of new art.

  7. Hope you're feeling better now! You are not the only artist who has had to struggle with similar conditions-- depression, anxiety and sleeplessness. Keep fighting. You are a true talent and an inspiration.